About Me

well, looks like you came to the about me page after all, good on you, and i see you are someone who doesn't care what they see online, so, here's a bit about me:

-I have DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder

-I am on the Autism Spectrum

-I Have C-PTSD, or Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

-I am posting here because i can, want to, i hope that i can help others avoid the mistakes i've made, and in general to speak my mind

-My name is Akasi Sudama

-I am a Neawoman, and my pronouns are Per/Perself

-I am a Polyamorous, Sapphic Lesbian

-I am from USA

-I know a few friends online, and not many in real life

-I have an Instagram account for this blog if anyone wants to contact me. the username is "akasi.sudama" without the "" of course. i will only log into this account occasionally, at least until i get more people actually reading this site and tagging me and stuff.

oh, you want to know why i'm writing this, do you? oh, well, to be honest i don't know, i honestly started this from an idea from a book (turtles all the way down), and on a whim, and didn't expect to like it so much. my hope? to help you with some of my advice, or to make you smile, or to have any of what i say help you in some way. i just hope that this public diary/blog can in some way do some sort of good for you, and if nothing else, this lets me vent, say what i want, do what i want, post whatever i want, and be who i want, all of it, and not hold anything back, not hide parts of my personality, or any of the other Alters in my system, and i just want to be myself, and let it all out. i don't really know what i'm doing here, i don't know why i am stuck in this life currently, why it has to be me, and i don't have half the answers, let alone any amount of them that is noticeable in the long run, or the universe, i just know that i have some, some ideas, and some solutions, whether they're any good, i have no clue, but i just want to share it all here, let it all out, and be myself, my true self, not the version of me with all these parts of me censored and hidden so people will like me more, which i do with almost everyone, hide certain parts of myself so they like me more, suppress certain habits, whatever it may be, and i don't want to do that here, and i just want to be myself, that's all. if you have a problem with the content of this site, you can blacklist it in parental controls and remove it from your browsing history, go right ahead, it's as close to a block button as you can get, and you have every right to use the block buttons online as much as you want, in fact, i encourage using them anytime you have even half a reason to do so.

another component of this diary site, is how i view life, see, everyone has a bookshelf, that holds the story of their life, each book being a month, with every chapter containing notable days, or some people's books might be thinner where each book is a year, each chapter containing notable days and months if they remember their life less, or don't care to write down everything, but it's all unique to everyone. some people have black pages in those books for the dark times, written in red ink to represent the blood spilt from the pain they felt, and some have all white pages for the average times, and some might have pages of their favourite colour for their defining moments, and core memories, but everyone's bookshelf is different, every book is different, and we're the authors of those books of our lives, and to hand someone else the pen is to hand them your free will, so don't let them, do what you want, write what you want, it's your life story, your bookshelf, your life, and whether you write thousands of pages frantically scribbling, or a few pages every few days with selective choice words, or fill volumes upon volumes with elegantly written words that are beautiful, and sting those they talk bad about, it's all your books, your life, and you can learn from them by looking back, and not everyone will like them, but it's your story. i want this site, this diary to be my bookshelf, be my life story, written from the perspective of every Alter that's been around through the course of it. i don't write my story for others; i write it for me, and i implore you to do the same, and if others can learn from your bookshelf, then that's magic, and that magic is why this diary exists, so others can learn from the books i wrote for myself, from my bookshelf.

now, if you want to read my words and my actual blog/public diary, go ahead on over to the My Words page. and if you want to read more about my delusions, you can go to My Delusions and learn some more about the delusions i've immersed myself in over the years, however if you came looking for wisdom or poems, or something that may benefit you from hearing it without context from elsewhere on this site, go to Things to Quote, it has that, if it's what you're looking for.